The two-year-old's in charge today....

I want to talk today about a call I recently had from a man regarding his cable bill. On the bill were multiple charges for OnDemand movies that had been ordered that he wanted to dispute because he said his kids had ordered the movies, not him.

Before I saw the account I was dreading the call, because I assumed that the movies would be of the adult nature. My fear was rational, seeing as I take at least 2 calls per week of this nature. To my surprise, the movies were actually children’s movies. Ok, so there were a lot of them, and at $5 each they do add up, but I couldn’t help but wonder how and why his kids were allowed to order so many. Taking a look at the notes on the account I found that not only had his kids ordered movies before that we had given him credit for, (and HA! They were of the adult nature...) we also instructed him on how to use the parental controls for his cable box. Not wanting to give him full credit for these movies, I told him that he’s already been educated on what to do to prevent his kids from ordering the movie. He said he didn’t remember us telling him that, and it’s not his fault he can’t be watching his kids 100% of the time. At that point I told him he needed to tell his children not to order the movies anymore. His response? Quite shocking. “They’re only 2 years old” Ummm, excuse me? Your TWO YEAR OLDS are ordering these movies? My next question SHOULD have been “What kind of parent DOESN’T watch a 2 year old 100% of the time?” but I clearly value my job, and therefore did not ask the question.

This did, however, get me to thinking. This man called in because he’d seen the movies on his bill, not because he’d caught his kids watching them. Why were these babies left in front of a TV for 2 hours or more with no adult supervision? You’re either lying, or you’re an awful parent. Let’s go with awful parent, it gives me more to talk about.

So, let’s pretend this guy really did leave his kids unattended. He’s apparently not the only parent to do so. According to a study done by the University of Michigan, on average, children ages 2-5 spend 32 hours a week in front of a TV. That’s a full-time job. Kids ages 6-11 spend about 28 hours a week in front of the TV. The vast majority of this viewing (97%) is of live TV. In addition, 71% of 8- to 18-year-olds have a TV in their bedroom. Then there’s the fact that 54% have a DVD/VCR player, 37% have cable/satellite and 20% have premium channels (which, as a billing rep, I can tell you are very expensive in the US). Really, people? I vote that every kid in America be forced to read a book before being allowed to watch TV. These statistics are shocking and disappointing.

And yes, I did give him the credits, but only half. Watch your kids.

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than you have.

Bart Simpson