I'm just a girl....

From the time I was a kid, my parents told me that I could do anything I put my mind to, be anything I wanted to be, and live the life I wanted to live. While that might be a bit extreme, I've never really had the mentality that because I was female I couldn't do things that men could do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an active feminist, and I don't believe that I'm nearly as strong as most men, but I feel that answering phones is a job in which sex doesn't matter.

Not apparently so, for one of my recent callers, Mr. Johnson*. Upon hearing my voice on the other end of the line, he demanded to speak with a man. I politely told him that I couldn't transfer his call to a man but that I would be more than happy to answer his question. He wanted to know why he wasn't able to watch the Yankees game that afternoon. When I told him that due to MLB regulations, certain games were blacked out for those not in "Yankee territory", he went crazy.

Mr Johnson: Get me a man! You have no idea what you're talking about!
Me: I assure you sir, a male employee would be telling you the exact same thing. I'm not making this up, I'm reading the memo they sent us.

I then read him, verbatim, the memo that had been given to us by the company.

Mr Johnson: You're just a girl, what would you know?
Me: The same thing as a man sir. We all read the same memos here. I'm sorry, but Rhode Island isn't in Yankee territory.
Mr. Johnson: ahhh, get back in the kitchen *click*

I understand that he was older and frustrated that he couldn't watch his game, but the angle he came at me with was unbelievable to me. It didn't upset me and I maintained a professional attitude throughout the call (again, I value that paycheck) but what happened to common courtesy and respect? It's not like he needed me to analyze the game/stats/players, he wanted to know why it wasn't airing for crying out loud.

Either way, there will always be people out there that hold archaic opinions and I've learned that I have to learn to smile and nod and be a polite and friendly person. The way every woman should be.

*names have been changed to protect the ignorant

You never really can go back...

As my loyal and frequent readers (and I love you both), may know, I have been on a leave of absence from the call centre I work at. For 6 weeks I was doing an internship at a local not-for-profit organization. The time I spent away from the call centre put a lot into perspective for me. It was nice to see what it was like working in a normal office environment, and not have to be micro-managed so much.

My internship has come to an end, however, and now I must temporarily return to the world of cable, internet and telephone bills. My first shift back went differently than I anticipated. Although I had been dreading it, I was excited to see my coworkers. As you know, they're my favourite part of the job. To my dismay, I'd found that a number of them had quit, (The Scapegoat and The Hustler, to name a few), and one had been "promoted" and was sitting in another area of the call centre. Some of their shifts had changed, and there were new faces everywhere. The first thing you learn about call centres is that change is constant, but I wasn't expecting to see so much change. I've left for extended periods of time before (I'm from Ireland, and tend to go back and visit during the summer) but never have I returned to such a bitter environment. The first thing I was greeted with was the fact that the phone systems had changed and I had to learn the new system. Everyone else received formal training, I got a 5 minute "this is what's up". Granted, the manager that helped me was extremely helpful and tried to explain everything clearly for me, but I couldn't help but feel like it was a sink or swim mentality. Of course I just ran with it, and haven't had any problems so far.

On a much more positive note, I was recently interviewed for an article in Information Age magazine about call centres. Be on the lookout for that!

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down....

One of the hardest parts about my job is giving customers bad news. When a request for a credit comes back denied or a channel disappears, you have to remember to remain tactful when dealing with these people. I have come to find that it’s not what you say that’s the problem; it’s how you say it. When I first started working at the call centre I was a complete pushover and would apply credits or give in to anyone who raised their voice to me. Sometimes you have to say no though, and there really isn’t anything else you can do. Over the years I’ve gotten a lot better at breaking news gently to people, but what’s going through my head and coming out of my mouth are two completely different things.

For example,

“You need to learn how to pay your bill on time” will translate to “We have an automatic withdrawal program that will automatically take out your payment on the due date, that way you know your payment has been made”

“You wouldn’t have had 6 months of overcharges on your bill if you’d bothered to look at it once in a while” translates into “I’m sorry that you were overcharged, that’s why we print itemized statements for you and give you 30 days to dispute them, in order to ensure you’re never billed for services you don’t have”

And my personal favourite

“Go ahead and switch to our competitor, they’re going to shut you off when you don’t pay them as well” translates into “I apologize for the inconvenience, however, it is common practice among all utilities to interrupt service for nonpayment”

People don’t like to hear bad news, but when said in a way that shows you really do care about their situation, it makes it easier to get the bad news across. This article outlines the key factors to keep in mind when delivering bad news to people.

I can't live without my TV!

Dealing with a major American cable company, we get many many customers calling in who are days away from having their cable disconnected because they can’t pay their bills. The fact of the matter is, they can’t afford to pay the bill and really shouldn’t have the service to begin with. The following scenario isn’t just one customer I’ve had to deal with, it’s an example of an issue I deal with multiple times a day.

Me: Again, Mrs. White, the last time you called us we told you that you needed to make a minimum payment of $xxx.xx in order to avoid service interruption. You didn’t do that.

Mrs. White: but I need to make the payment arrangement. I don’t want you to turn off my service, I need it.

Me: I’m really sorry, but you haven’t made any of the previous payment arrangements. We can’t give you another one. It also shows that the representative advised you to remove some services so your monthly rate isn’t so high. I notice that you didn’t do that. You’re paying for Showtime and HBO, which is costing you an extra $23 a month. Would you like to remove them?

Mrs. White: No, I need those channels. I can’t get rid of those.

Me: Sorry Mrs. White, your services will go off tomorrow and I can’t apply an extension.

Mrs. White: *begins to cry*WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT MY CABLE? (This is where I SHOULD have suggested she pick up a book, but again, I value my paycheck) I’m switching to(competitor)

Me: With all due respect Mrs. White, (competitor) will interrupt your service if you don’t pay your bills with them either.

In my 5 years at this call centre, I have learned one key thing. You can do absolutely anything to an American- steal from him, lie to him, even push his grandmother down the stairs- but do not shut off their cable. They cannot live without it. I found a really interesting article here about how cable should be one of the first things to go during a recession, but Americans as a whole just aren’t able to make the cut.

This video also goes into detail on how addicted to cable Americans seem to be. It’s quite sad, really.

If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read, but if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

Lily Tomlin

You mean he stole my scooter?

For the last few weeks I’ve given you a little look into my call centre and the people that I work with. While they’re important and definitely the reason I go in every day, most of my time is really spent talking to customers. Some of the calls I receive are extremely interesting. A call I received a few months ago has stuck with me to this day. Here’s Mr. Green’s story.

“Mr. Green”

Mr. Green spent an hour on the phone with me telling me he needed to pay his bill and insisted he would pay it the following Friday if I would just give him an extension. I applied the extension to his account, and yet he still felt the need to give me his life story. Normally, I’m really good at keeping the calls on track and getting the callers off the phone in an appropriate amount of time. This man however, piqued my interest. He told me how he just got out of jail for something he didn’t do. He told me that his lawyer told him that it was in his best interest to plead guilty and do the time. What was he accused of? Killing a cat. I told him to find a new lawyer. He agreed with me and went on to say that he bought a new scooter recently and that it was now missing. I couldn’t resist, I had to ask why. He went into a long story about how a man asked Mr. Green to drive a car down the street for him, while he rode the scooter to the store. He gave the man the scooter, (took his phone number for security reasons, of course) and agreed to meet him at an arranged time and location to pick up the scooter. I couldn’t help but interrupt at this point.

Me: “Did you actually believe him?”

Mr. Green: “Of course! He gave me his phone number and said I could have my scooter back when I called the number. I’ve been calling for four months but he won’t answer and I still don’t have my scooter!

Me: “Mr Green, that car was probably a stolen vehicle and you’ll most likely never see that scooter again. You shouldn’t be so trusting in strangers”

Mr. Green “He stole my scooter? No way darlin’, I thought I was doing a good thing”

He was actually surprised that I questioned his ability to make decisions. He’s clearly been so successful making them in the past. He went on for a half hour more talking about how some crazy women came into his home and ordered a ton of adult pay-per-views. This call was so entertaining and lasted so long I was hoping that my manager would hear this call as well, just so someone else could hear this insanity.

When a manager listens to a call, they give you a score out of 100. This is a Quality Assessment. Many call centres use this as a way to monitor their employees. Each client outlines what they want their representatives to do during a call, and then the call centres monitor the calls. You can read more about Quality Assessment in call centres here.

Again, there’s never a dull moment in the call centre. Some of these callers I will never forget, others I can’t get off my phone soon enough. Even though the call only lasts an average of 3 minutes, some people definitely make lasting impressions. So much so that 4 months later I’m still wondering what happened to that Mr. Green’s scooter.

They might be weird, but they're my friends

The best part about my job is the range of personalities I get to work with on a daily basis. With so many different beliefs and values, it’s hard to imagine how we all manage to remain in one room together for 8-10 hours a day. My coworkers have managed to get me through the last five years and actually make it so I enjoy being there. In call centres, people come and go, but with my particular campaign we tend to have a lot of people stay for long periods of time (I call these people “lifers” – they hate me for it.) Last week I focused on the (lucky?) individuals who’d managed to break away from the call centre, but this week I’m going to talk about the characters I get to be around every day. These are the guys I sit with:

The Indian Guy

This guy is by far the funniest man at the call centre. His humour is sometimes strange, sometimes harsh, but always entertaining. He’s the guy that says what everyone’s thinking; it’s just ten times funnier because he has an accent to compliment it. When I told him I was doing this blog and would be talking about him, but that I wouldn’t mention his name, he said “No, no! Say my name, say my name! I’m a funny man”

The MMA fighter

This guy is the best, despite the fact that he bbms me regularly just to call me a slacker. I'll be honest, when I first met him I was a little intimidated. He's a strong looking guy and fights MMA on his spare time, so I was pretty much terrified of him. Once I got to know him, my perception completely changed. He is by far one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He also goes to see Twilight in the movie theatre with his girlfriend. (He'll kill me for mentioning that)

The Scapegoat

The butt of everyone's jokes, he's one of the most entertaining people to have around. This guy can NOT stop talking-ever. There have been many times we'll listen to him on his calls and he's trying to troubleshoot someone's internet connection (we take billing calls). We call him Patches because he can't grow a full beard, or manage to shave his face properly. He's a fellow Niagara College student and a genuinely nice guy. The Indian Guy insists that Patches call him "Father".

The Instigator

This guy is my best friend's brother and loves to cause trouble. He's the one that will poke the fire when something's about to erupt and then sit back and watch it all happen. His favourite pastime at work is setting up scenarios that will cause The Indian Guy to say or do something funny and then laugh at other people. What he doesn't know is just how aware of it we all are, and how everyone does it just to laugh at his genuine reaction. Out of all of us, he probably escalates his calls to supervisors the most, simply because he loves saying “no” to customers. Sometimes he’ll say things in the most patronising ways, but it’s hilarious to hear. He is a nice guy though, and always has level-headed advice for me when I need it.

The Hustler

This guy always has some business deal going on the side. He tries to sell pirated DVDs to people, he sells discounted roast chickens to The Indian Guy, and even told me he could get me a brand new BMW for five thousand dollars. His goal in life is to be rich, and evidently he’s willing to do anything it takes to get there. He has an awesome personality and is always dancing in the aisles when he’s not taking calls. Again, he’s a really nice guy.

As I've said before, these guys are the reason I love my job so much. In its own weird way, it's like a family. We might not always get along, but at the end of the day we know we'll be there for one another.

Hit the road, Jack

In my five years at the call centre, I have never worked a Sunday. You can imagine my dismay when I found I needed to switch a shift and the only available day I had was Sunday. I went into work with that initial attitude that I didn’t want to be there and would do anything to be allowed to go home. This is never a good way to start your day, especially when working in customer service. People can definitely pick up on your “I’d rather have my teeth pulled than talk to you right now” attitude. To my surprise, it was one of the best days I’ve ever had at work. Apart from the fact that there was a good 20 minutes between calls, it gave me a chance to talk to some co-workers that I hadn’t spoken to in months. Given that we had so much free time on our hands, we had some of the best conversations. The topics included everything from the smartest cast member of Jersey Shore (we determined there wasn’t one), to favourite places in this city to drink, to ideal places to work. This quickly led to talk of past coworkers and the way people ended up quitting the call centre.

Call centres have the highest turnover rates, which can be costly on the company. According to Price Waterhouse Coopers, employee turnover can cost 1.5 times the salary of the employee being replaced. Call centres have a turnover rate of 26% annually for full time employees and 33% for part time employees. In the last 5 years, I have seen a lot of people come and go (both from being fired or leaving on their own accord) but these are some of my favourites:

The Prank Call

One co-worker had decided he wanted to quit, but wanted to go out with a bang. For his last call, he told a customer he would call them back when he got a specialist on the line for them. He hung up and took one more call. He pulled up the customer’s account and asked to put them on hold. He then called back the first customer on line two and told them he had a representative on the other line that would be able to help them with their issue. He then conferenced the two calls together, took off his headset and walked out of the building. He obviously never came back.

Employee of the Month

This one particular girl was a bit of a psycho and used to randomly freak out on co-workers. She was definitely one of those people that everyone avoided. To our surprise, she won employee of the month last April. Needless to say, we were all completely shocked, and were beginning to lose faith in the “Employee of the Month” contest. The best part about this story is that less than a month later she was fired for having multiple complaints because she was being rude to customers. It was at that point I lost all faith in the “Employee of the Month” program.

Mr. Bomb Threat

A few years back, the call centre used to get frequent bomb threats. Someone would email in threats that a bomb was in the building, in turn shutting the entire building down while it was searched. Everyone would then go bowling while the issue was being dealt with. These bombs threats became so frequent, that you could basically plan your schedule around them, and “Bomb threat Thursdays” became a popular term among the employees. Eventually this employee was caught and fired. My favourite part of this story is the fact that, as I was walking to my desk last summer, I look across the floor and see that Mr. Bomb Threat had in fact been re-hired and was working on another campaign. At least he wasn’t voted Employee of the Month.

Needless to say, there is never a dull moment at the call centre. As I’ve said before, my co-workers are the reason I go in every day. While these ways of leaving are not professional in any way, it does give us something to laugh about when there aren’t any calls to be taking.